There are few things I enjoy more than convincing friends to travel, especially to new and unfamiliar places. Something about being outside one’s comfort zone usually brings out the best, or at least a new side, of people. As a childhood friend touched down in Bangkok, the last of 4 previously unplanned vacation adventures had begun.
Bangkok is sensory overload in all its glory. Unending food stalls, massage parlors, bars, restaurants, markets, temples, traffic, tuk tuks, peddlers, lady-boys, and scammers. If there ever was a quintessential introduction to everything Westerners might find different about Asia, Bangkok is it. Stereotypes playing out right in front of our eyes, navigating the streets required turning down whispering requests for not just massages, but “everything,” making the ever-more difficult decision as to which banana pancake stand to try next, and making sense of faulty info about a temple that’s the Same Same as what we were actually looking for. Unfortunately, you end up believing almost no one, as the trustworthiness of advice decreases exponentially with the number of Same Same’s uttered in a given sentence. It’s akin to believing in Donald Trump’s self-proclaimed eloquence as he tells you he has “the best words.” Right.
Scams aside, Bangkok holds enough gems and experiences for 2-3 solid days of exploration. The major temples in the area were my first true experience of grandiose Buddhist shrines, statues, and practices. Colored tiles dot each and every rooftop, while colorful warriors guard the entrances. Incense plays a major role in all ceremonies and prayer, and provides a slight respite from the durian or sewer scents that will inevitably hit your nostrils during urban exploration. Golden Buddhas are hidden in temples, down alleys, at store fronts, everywhere. The baddest Buddha of them all was hands down the giant reclining Buddha, which must have been at least 50 feet long and 20 feet high, just chilling inside a temple barely longer and taller than the Buddha itself.
Floating Markets have become a symbol of Bangkok, as the city transitions to modernity while still keeping its old world charm. We opted for the far less touristy market, which required some interesting public transportation to get to. Hanging off the back of a cargo truck turned taxi is normal, right? Thought so. Anyways, the market lines a busy canal, as canoes filled with women cooking up fresh(ish) seafood, soups, and noodles serve their dollar-menu items to customers seated on the steps leading down into the canal. Sitting on the steps in a miniature plastic chair that was sure to break soon, being served fresh squid on an old 2x4 as I looked down on a cluster of umbrella covered canoes filled to the brim with fish, veggies, and noodles, miles away from the buzzing city, I was in the exact scene I’d hoped to experience, and we had a good laugh about how ridiculously far from little old Oroville, California we’d made it.
Our last hurrah in Bangkok was a night out on the infamous Khao San Road, the backpacker Mecca of Southeast Asia. Before venturing out into the chaos, we found a surprisingly local live music venue inside a strip mall, where we made quick friends with some Thai locals enjoying a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black and the heavily-accented renditions of all our favorite western hits. The place was rocking, and so were we, especially once the band started jamming Offspring. I must say, I am Pretty Fly for a White Guy, and I made sure to let the crowd know…from the top of our table. After a few acts and busted eardrums, we made our way out into the chaos of Khao San, passing offerings for liquor, laughing gas, and lady-boys, before succumbing to the final temptation of a late night snack.
What does Scorpion taste like, you ask?
In a word, crunchy.